smoke

A strange thing happened today in the valley, at least it was strange to me. In the morning the valley seemed very foggy, however it never lifted. I was talking with the site manager about this and he said it wasn't fog it was smoke. I got a little worried, because it was a lot of smoke. But he explained that it could be one of many possibilites: 1. There is a forrest fire somewhere near the valley and the wind is blowing it in 2. It could be smoke from wildfires as far as away as California 3. Or it could be wildfires from some other far off place. I thought it was very interesting that most of the time when there is a big fire to the west of our valley, the smoke finds its way there and just hangs in the valley for a couple days. The down side: we can no longer see Pike's Peak let alone the mountains on the other side of the valley. The up side: spectacular sunrises! You may be thinking why the heck am I up at sunrise. Well, it is simple really. My bedroom window faces east (the direction the sun rises, just in case you forgot), and my room is bathed in the colors of the sunrise each morning and it is just enough light to wake me up. I am usually able to fall back asleep, thank you! But sometimes it is so peaceful. Sometimes my room is a dark yellow or orange, but this morning it was pink! Some of you may know that I am not a huge fan of pink, but this was incredible. It is really easy to be in tune with the Creator when I get to see masterpieces such as this each morning. I wish staying in tune with Him was as easy, but I will take what I can get. It really makes me see the truth in Lamentations 3:22-23, "Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." I knew with this morning's sunrise something life-changing was going to happen, and it did. Not it wasn't the bulls eye I made this afternoon at the archery range, it was a hard decision that lifted a heavy weight off my shoulders. And I am sure there will be an amazing sunrise tomorrow to wake me up and affirm that God is with me and God is for me.

satisfaction

I have been coming up dry as far as blogging topics. I am sorry if you check every day in anticipation of what I am going to write. I guess the novelty of living at a camp is fading. Don't get me wrong, it is still gorgeous, just not new anymore. I have a wandering heart and I need things to change and be challenging, and when they are not I get bored and unmotivated. I watched a movie today where one of the characters described himself as being built to be unsatisfied. And I think that in American society we are socialized to be unsatisfied and to be okay with that. I don't want to be like that. I want to be satisfied every day, because every day is a gift. I guess being secluded from society has made me feel a little down, so I am sorry about the negative topics sometimes, but that is what has been on my mind. And I know in my head that there is a purpose for me being here, but sometimes my heart aches so heavily for home that it is hard to focus on the purpose. But on a lighter note: my brother is getting married in a week and I will be home! I can't wait. I am already packed (which, if you know how much of a procrastinator I am says that I am a little too eager I think).

home

I have been thinking a lot about the concept of home. When does a place become home? Is it when you actually call it home? Not for me. Is it when people stop e-mailing to ask how it is going in that new place? Not for me. Home is a feeling for me. And lately it hasn't been places that are home, but people. People that I feel comfortable around, that I have a history with and know who I am. People I don't have to work to be around. That is home for me. And right now I am missing home. New friendships take a lot of work and effort, and right now I am tired. I just want home. But lucky for me I get to have home in a week and 3 days! I am thinking that it will be a refresher for me. It gets lonely here at camp, there are only three of us that live here all the time. We have to drive 20 minutes for any human interaction beyond each other, and i can only watch so many movies. Oh well, that is how it works sometimes. So to those of you who feel like home to me, I miss you and I love you!

snow

It snowed here yesterday! It was so pretty! It was the perfect snow, lightly falling but big flakes. Here are some pictures with the snow.

MN vs. CO (plus a little Bebo)

Some things to tell about today:

1. I almost talked to Bebo Norman. Well, I almost talked with Bebo Norman's booking agent, who has talked with Bebo Norman, that's close enough, right?

2. I am missing MN right now, and here are some specific things about MN that I am missing:
a. Leeann Chin (orange chicken and egg rolls)
b. Minnesota State Fair brand strawberry preserves, yum!
c. Clear radio stations (hitting scan and the radio stopping for no stations makes us laugh!)
d. People who know how to keep a conversation going
e. Feed My Starving Children (maybe I should start a location here?)
f. Hotdish and bars
g. Lakes, there are creeks and rivers here, but they are freezing! No swimming for us!
h. Straight, lit roads (getting carsick with each trip to town is not fun)
i. the convenience of getting somewhere taking only 10 mminutes, rather than an hour.
j. blowing my nose and there not being blood (altitude)
k. walking across the street to the mailbox

3. Now here are some things I don't miss about MN
a. walking outside and sweating just thinking about doing something, a.k.a. the humidity
b. having to wear bug spray
c. traffic
d. door-to-door salespeople
e. the lack of mountains
f. the bone chilling winter cold (i don't miss it yet, but i am sure i will. i love winter, it's my favorite season, but sometimes it does get too cold for me!).

I apologize for the lapse of time between blogs. So here is what has been on my mind the last couple days:

I usually can't remember my dreams when I wake up. There are occasional dreams I remember, but mostly they vaish when I open my eyes. But for the past week I have been remembering my dreams, and they all have one thing common: weddings. Either I am at the wedding or in the wedding. If I am in the wedding I have been a bridesmaid and a bride. If I am the bride, sometimes there is a groom and sometimes I never see his face. I interpret this two ways: 1. I am REALLY excited for my brother's wedding in two and a half weeks! 2. I am anxious for that season of my life. I desire to be a wife and mother, and i know that God would not put those desires on my heart if he didn't mean for them to be fulfilled, and I know that it will happen when it is the right time. I just wish sometimes it would happen soon; that I would meet a guy with confidence who could be honest about an attraction and just risk asking.

Well, sorry about the girliness of this entry, but I am a girl and it was bound to happen sometime.

p.s. i sent out a plea for some mail last month, and so far I have received two cards. Thank you Liz and Grandpa! To the others: aren't I worth 41 cents?

hurry up and wait? no thanks!

I feel like I do a lot of waiting around here. We hurry up to get stuff done, only to wait. Wait for the toast to pop up, wait for the mail, wait for the phone to ring, wait for e-mail responses, wait for groups to arrive, wait for the next meal so i can do set up, wait for the meal to be over so i can do KP, wait for bedtime, wait for morning, wait for days off, wait for retreats, wait for things to do, wait for, wait for, wait for. I don't want to spend my life waiting for stuff. I want to be a good steward of the time I have here on Earth, and I want to think that each moment should be experienced in and of itself, not waiting for what the next moment is going to be. But I don't really know how to do that. I don't really know how to be completely in the moment. I know there are times when i have been completely in the moment, not thinking of the past or the future, but just what is happening right at that instant. I wish I could live in that frame of mind more often.