smoke

A strange thing happened today in the valley, at least it was strange to me. In the morning the valley seemed very foggy, however it never lifted. I was talking with the site manager about this and he said it wasn't fog it was smoke. I got a little worried, because it was a lot of smoke. But he explained that it could be one of many possibilites: 1. There is a forrest fire somewhere near the valley and the wind is blowing it in 2. It could be smoke from wildfires as far as away as California 3. Or it could be wildfires from some other far off place. I thought it was very interesting that most of the time when there is a big fire to the west of our valley, the smoke finds its way there and just hangs in the valley for a couple days. The down side: we can no longer see Pike's Peak let alone the mountains on the other side of the valley. The up side: spectacular sunrises! You may be thinking why the heck am I up at sunrise. Well, it is simple really. My bedroom window faces east (the direction the sun rises, just in case you forgot), and my room is bathed in the colors of the sunrise each morning and it is just enough light to wake me up. I am usually able to fall back asleep, thank you! But sometimes it is so peaceful. Sometimes my room is a dark yellow or orange, but this morning it was pink! Some of you may know that I am not a huge fan of pink, but this was incredible. It is really easy to be in tune with the Creator when I get to see masterpieces such as this each morning. I wish staying in tune with Him was as easy, but I will take what I can get. It really makes me see the truth in Lamentations 3:22-23, "Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." I knew with this morning's sunrise something life-changing was going to happen, and it did. Not it wasn't the bulls eye I made this afternoon at the archery range, it was a hard decision that lifted a heavy weight off my shoulders. And I am sure there will be an amazing sunrise tomorrow to wake me up and affirm that God is with me and God is for me.

satisfaction

I have been coming up dry as far as blogging topics. I am sorry if you check every day in anticipation of what I am going to write. I guess the novelty of living at a camp is fading. Don't get me wrong, it is still gorgeous, just not new anymore. I have a wandering heart and I need things to change and be challenging, and when they are not I get bored and unmotivated. I watched a movie today where one of the characters described himself as being built to be unsatisfied. And I think that in American society we are socialized to be unsatisfied and to be okay with that. I don't want to be like that. I want to be satisfied every day, because every day is a gift. I guess being secluded from society has made me feel a little down, so I am sorry about the negative topics sometimes, but that is what has been on my mind. And I know in my head that there is a purpose for me being here, but sometimes my heart aches so heavily for home that it is hard to focus on the purpose. But on a lighter note: my brother is getting married in a week and I will be home! I can't wait. I am already packed (which, if you know how much of a procrastinator I am says that I am a little too eager I think).

home

I have been thinking a lot about the concept of home. When does a place become home? Is it when you actually call it home? Not for me. Is it when people stop e-mailing to ask how it is going in that new place? Not for me. Home is a feeling for me. And lately it hasn't been places that are home, but people. People that I feel comfortable around, that I have a history with and know who I am. People I don't have to work to be around. That is home for me. And right now I am missing home. New friendships take a lot of work and effort, and right now I am tired. I just want home. But lucky for me I get to have home in a week and 3 days! I am thinking that it will be a refresher for me. It gets lonely here at camp, there are only three of us that live here all the time. We have to drive 20 minutes for any human interaction beyond each other, and i can only watch so many movies. Oh well, that is how it works sometimes. So to those of you who feel like home to me, I miss you and I love you!

snow

It snowed here yesterday! It was so pretty! It was the perfect snow, lightly falling but big flakes. Here are some pictures with the snow.

MN vs. CO (plus a little Bebo)

Some things to tell about today:

1. I almost talked to Bebo Norman. Well, I almost talked with Bebo Norman's booking agent, who has talked with Bebo Norman, that's close enough, right?

2. I am missing MN right now, and here are some specific things about MN that I am missing:
a. Leeann Chin (orange chicken and egg rolls)
b. Minnesota State Fair brand strawberry preserves, yum!
c. Clear radio stations (hitting scan and the radio stopping for no stations makes us laugh!)
d. People who know how to keep a conversation going
e. Feed My Starving Children (maybe I should start a location here?)
f. Hotdish and bars
g. Lakes, there are creeks and rivers here, but they are freezing! No swimming for us!
h. Straight, lit roads (getting carsick with each trip to town is not fun)
i. the convenience of getting somewhere taking only 10 mminutes, rather than an hour.
j. blowing my nose and there not being blood (altitude)
k. walking across the street to the mailbox

3. Now here are some things I don't miss about MN
a. walking outside and sweating just thinking about doing something, a.k.a. the humidity
b. having to wear bug spray
c. traffic
d. door-to-door salespeople
e. the lack of mountains
f. the bone chilling winter cold (i don't miss it yet, but i am sure i will. i love winter, it's my favorite season, but sometimes it does get too cold for me!).

I apologize for the lapse of time between blogs. So here is what has been on my mind the last couple days:

I usually can't remember my dreams when I wake up. There are occasional dreams I remember, but mostly they vaish when I open my eyes. But for the past week I have been remembering my dreams, and they all have one thing common: weddings. Either I am at the wedding or in the wedding. If I am in the wedding I have been a bridesmaid and a bride. If I am the bride, sometimes there is a groom and sometimes I never see his face. I interpret this two ways: 1. I am REALLY excited for my brother's wedding in two and a half weeks! 2. I am anxious for that season of my life. I desire to be a wife and mother, and i know that God would not put those desires on my heart if he didn't mean for them to be fulfilled, and I know that it will happen when it is the right time. I just wish sometimes it would happen soon; that I would meet a guy with confidence who could be honest about an attraction and just risk asking.

Well, sorry about the girliness of this entry, but I am a girl and it was bound to happen sometime.

p.s. i sent out a plea for some mail last month, and so far I have received two cards. Thank you Liz and Grandpa! To the others: aren't I worth 41 cents?

hurry up and wait? no thanks!

I feel like I do a lot of waiting around here. We hurry up to get stuff done, only to wait. Wait for the toast to pop up, wait for the mail, wait for the phone to ring, wait for e-mail responses, wait for groups to arrive, wait for the next meal so i can do set up, wait for the meal to be over so i can do KP, wait for bedtime, wait for morning, wait for days off, wait for retreats, wait for things to do, wait for, wait for, wait for. I don't want to spend my life waiting for stuff. I want to be a good steward of the time I have here on Earth, and I want to think that each moment should be experienced in and of itself, not waiting for what the next moment is going to be. But I don't really know how to do that. I don't really know how to be completely in the moment. I know there are times when i have been completely in the moment, not thinking of the past or the future, but just what is happening right at that instant. I wish I could live in that frame of mind more often.

menu

I am at a loss for what to write today, so here is what I ate:
Breakfast: two pieces of toast with peanut butter, raspberry yogurt, glass of milk.
Snack: granola bar and water.
Lunch: Salami sandwich, handful of potato chips, apple, chocolate chip cookie, Mt. Dew.
Snack: a cup of raisins and water.
Dinner: Goulash, piece of bread, orange, glass of milk.
Dessert: chocolate ice cream.
That's not too bad, is it?

rollercoaster of emotions

There are three things I want to write about today:

1. In March I went on a mission trip to Swaziland, Africa. I fell in love with the kids and with the missionary program and the missionaries. I left a piece of my heart there. And when I came back I felt compelled to do something about the 80% price increase of the food they are buying for the kids. So working at a place that packages meals for starving kids I had a connection, and with the blessings of the church we raised enough money to send a shipment of Feed My Starving Children food to Swaziland. We shipped 270,864 meals for $8,000. A couple weeks before I left for Colorado my family got to be a part of packing the food and I got to see off the shipment. I have been praying for the shipment to arrive safely for a couple months now, and have been anxiously awaiting news from the missionaries. Well today I got an e-mail that they received the food!!!!! I screamed when I opened the e-mail and saw the pictures of the food in the hands of the missionaries! I can't wait to see more pictures of when they are distributing the food. Below is a picture of Ben Rodgers (the Africa director for Children's Cup) with an FMSC box!

2. I had a bridesmaid dress fitting today! They need to take it in a little bit more, but it was exciting to see what the dress is going to look like! When a dress is too big it is hard to get the mental picture of what it will look like, but with the dress fitting better today, I think it will look beautiful. It made me wish that I was at home helping with last minute wedding plans, and it made me very excited for the wedding! November 3, hurry up!

3. Every Tuesday night, the Canon City Tigers have a home soccer game, and every Tuesday night we have gone in to see the game. The Executive Director's son plays on the team, so that is how we found out about it. I like to watch soccer so it has been a treat for me. They are a pretty good team, I think they are 8-2-1. Tonight was an intense night for the Tigers and for the fans! I went through a rollercoaster of emotions. And of course fans feed off each other's emotions, so it was crazy in the stands. The refs were being pretty unfair as far as the calls being made, there was no home field advantage by any means. However the Tigers managed to fight and play hard and within the last couple minutes they scored their third goal to pull ahead. The other team didn't think it was quite fair, so at the end of the game instead of coming to mid field and shaking hands, they grabbed their bags and walked immediately to the bus. In the stands there was joy for winning and frustration at the other team and some anger towards the refs. However, it was a fun night and we laughed a lot and yelled a lot (I am pretty sure I will be hoarse tomorrow).

Life in the mountains

Here is a video of one of our leisurely drives.

pain in the...

I have a problem. It is starting to get cold here, however, that isn't my problem because I love the cold. My problem is that I have these blisters on my heels that are still healing and because of that it makes wearing shoes painful. I have no problem wearing socks with sandals excpt that I only have one pair of sandals that I don't look dorky wearing with socks. It is getting kind of old. I love my shoes and I love the many options I have to choose from in the morning, however that choice has been taken from me by these stupid blisters! I guess if that is my biggest problem today that I am doing alright!

In other news, I finished my 42 book of the year! I am getting close to my goal of 50 by 2008. Tomorrow we are going in to town. Going in to town consists of a 45 minute drive, I never thought I would live in a place where that was the case. But alas, I do. (the right use of the term alas Trish?)

fall colors

It is beautiful here! There are reds, yellows, and greens everywhere! I feel like I am in a painting. Today was the perfect fall day. I don't know the temperature, but it was a long-sleeved t-shirt, jeans, and sandals kind of day; which is almost perfect for me, add a fleece to the mix and you are there. It was sunny and there was a breeze that blew threw all day. It was gorgeous! I am lucky to be here at this time.

just want you to know

I am hoping for snow tonight. It is pretty chilly and before it got dark it looked like a storm was rolling in, so I am hoping for snow tonight! Today was a productive day for me, not so much in the work world, but I wrote a song. I was practicing the guitar by playing through all my songs and then usually I fool around for a bit, by playing with different chord combinations. Most of the time nothing comes from it, but today I was inspired. I feel pretty good about the song. I wrote it for a friend and it is called "Just want you to know." So maybe you will hear it on my CD soon (I hope).

an addition

A couple of months ago I was getting a new kind of migraine. It was kind of scary, so I went to the doctor and she suggested that I get an MRI. Because it was a scan of my brian I had to take my facial piercings out (eyebrow and nose), which isn't a big deal since I had to take them out for choir concerts at Wartburg. Well, when I tried to put them back in after the scan I couldn't get the nose piercing back in. I was pretty bummed. I kept talking about getting it redone, but never got around to it. However, today when we were in Canon City we had some time to kill before the soccer game, so we drove down Main Street and saw a tattoo parlor. And being the impulsive shopper that I am, I saw the body piercing sign in the window, walked in, and got my nose pierced. I was a bleeder this time. I don't think I bled this much last time (did I mom?), but don't worry, it is normal to bleed when there is a needle that gets pushed through your skin! Anyway, I am happy to be double-face-pierced again! One of the funny things that was said during dinner (after the nose) was when we were talking about facials and getting eyebrows waxed. I said I wouldn't want to do it because it would hurt too much, and Jenny replied with, "You just got your nosed pierced!" I thought it was pretty funny!

change of plans...

I woke up this morning (after a good sleep-in until 10) feeling productive. I was going to finish the book I am reading, play guitar for awhile, try to do some writing, go for a long hike, and then come back to start another book, and maybe watch a movie. Well, at breakfast Sarah came up from downstairs with a package in her hand that contained the third season of Grey's Anatomy. I usually do not find it hard to pull myself away from the TV so when she asked if we should pop in the first episode I said of course, thinking that after that episode I would get on with my day off. Well, 13 hours later we pulled ourselves away from the TV to go to bed! 13 hours! Once we watched the first episode we just kept watching. It was the laziest day of my life! And we didn't even finish the season, there are still 8 more episodes to watch. Ridiculous! Those are 13 hours that I will never get back! But I guess it is good to have a lazy day once in awhile. Tomorrow we are going in to Canon City, so no TV (or should I say today since it is 1 in the morning!)!